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Use marriage strategies to help your divorce

If you are locked in conflict that you think could lead to a legal separation or divorce, new research from leading specialists could help you understand more about your situation. Whether you are attempting to reconcile or think you should proceed with the breakup, experts say it is important to recognize the characteristics of an adversarial relationship. Not only could you salvage your marriage after a potential breakup, but you might also be able to avoid such situations in the future if you are armed with the information now.

Research out of Baylor University shows that couples generally value situations in which power is shared. In your Maryland marriage, do you feel as though your partner is more powerful, or are you the overbearing one? Couples long for emotional intimacy during their marriage. Lacking intimacy is often cited as a cause for divorce. Couples actively work to avoid sustained conflict, such as that experienced by couples on the verge of breakup. In addition, neither party particularly cares about apologies or an end-point with a single winner.

These tips can even help you speed up your divorce. If you are already separated and seeking a breakup, consider being more transparent and integrating compromise into your divorce strategy. In your marriage, you can show investment through active listening and other communications strategies. Apply those tactics to your divorce proceedings, and you are sure to have a smoother experience. Couples who are willing to admit their faults and compromise are more likely to achieve emotional intimacy. Why not use that same approach when entering divorce negotiations? Avoiding the problem or simply withdrawing from it is a poor strategy in a relationship, and it certainly does not work during a divorce.

Remember that power struggles are best left behind as part of a broken marriage. You can start your life over by adopting better communication strategies and positive techniques as soon as you file for divorce. They may not have saved your marriage, but these tactics can smooth your break-up.

Source:, "How couples can get to divorce - real fast!" Douglas LaBier, Aug. 26, 2013

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