When you are going through a divorce, it can be tough to focus on anything else. Your mind may be racing constantly, and you may feel like you are in a fog. However, it is important to try and focus on your kids during this time. They are probably feeling a lot of confusion and anxiety, and they need their parents to be there for them.
Talk to your kids about what is happening
Give your kids age-appropriate explanations for why you are getting divorced. It is important that they understand that it is not their fault, and you still love them very much. If possible, try to have these conversations with your ex present as well. This way, your kids will know that you are both on the same page.
Try to stay out of court
If at all possible, try to settle your divorce out of court. This can be much less stressful for everyone involved, and it will be easier on your kids. They likely already feel like they are caught in the middle, and you don’t want to make that worse.
There are several out-of-court options, and one of the most popular is mediation. This can be a great way to come to an agreement without having to litigate in court. If you do have to go to court, try to make it as quick and painless as possible. The less time you spend in court, the better.
Don’t use your kids as messengers
During your divorce, you will probably need to communicate with your ex a lot. However, it is important to avoid using your kids as messengers. This can be very confusing and upsetting for them. If possible, try to communicate directly with your ex either in person or over the phone. Also, avoid speaking negatively about your ex in front of your kids. They need to know that it is okay to love both of their parents.
Remember, your kids are going through a lot right now. They need you to be there for them, so try to put their needs first. If you can do that, they will be able to get through this tough time a bit easier.