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Common post-divorce mistakes men make

For many people, divorce represents the possibility of reinvention. Ending a failing marriage allows both parties to pursue new careers, romance and enjoy a less stressful life. However, experts say that making certain changes too quickly can make situations worse for recent divorcees. Maryland men who are divorced or planning to divorce can benefit from learning about common post-divorce mistakes and how to avoid them.

Some men may be tempted to become "playboys" following their divorce, but experts say this type of behavior can be harmful. One expert describes how some recently divorced men pursue short-term sexual relationships with new women as a "band-aid to medicate their pain or loneliness." In some cases, this can result in sexually transmitted diseases or unplanned pregnancies. If a divorce is not yet finalized, being seen out with different could also lead to more alimony being awarded to the ex-spouse.

While it is good for divorcees to date new people, experts also warn against rushing into new marriages. One expert explains how many men may be used to married life and the advantages it carries, prompting them to find new spouses as soon as possible without taking the time to make sure it is right for them. He recommends that newly divorced men examine their marriage and analyze what caused it to fail.

Experts also say it is important for men not to introduce new partners or potential partners to their children too soon after divorce. While they may wish to provide their children with the benefits of a full family unit, children of divorced parents often wish for their parents to get back together. It is important to give the children time to adjust to the divorce before being introduced to a new romantic interest. Seeing their father with a new girlfriend can cause unnecessary heartache and stress for children, and can cause them to develop negative feelings for who they see as a parent's replacement.

Source: Huffington Post, "Top 3 Mistakes Men Make After Divorce," Carlos Phillips, May 14, 2012

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