There is a lot of advice floating around about how to help children get through divorce. There’s no doubt that even the most amicable divorce is traumatic for children. Psychologists suggest parents in Maryland can help their children succeed despite divorce by focusing on one overarching concept: avoiding putting the children in the middle.

Whether parents discuss custody, visitation or financial woes, children should not be a part of the conversation. They don’t want to hear about their parents’ complaints against each other. Children love and need both parents and could take any criticism against a parent as criticism against themselves. Discussing money problems with children will only lead to anxiety and guilt for them. Divorcing parents are undoubtedly going through a difficult time and need emotional support, but it should not come from their children. No matter how emotionally mature children may seem, they are not ready to handle their parents’ problems.

Children will thrive when their parents present a united front despite the divorce. Both parents should have the same rules and expectations regarding chores, homework and screen time. If one parent allows unlimited video games and thinks a C is an acceptable grade while the other forbids screens and demands an A on every assignment, it will lead to confusion and resentment on the part of the child.

Undoubtedly, divorcing parents may have difficulty coming to such a clear-cut agreement; couples who agree on all issues usually don’t find themselves getting a divorce. However, an attorney experienced in family law may be able to help navigate the tricky issues that are a part of every divorce, such as child custody, visitation and child support. The process may be unpleasant, but it will be worth it if it results in children who are secure and healthy despite their parents’ divorce.