Gray divorce is increasingly common in Maryland. Even though you and your spouse may end your marriage on amicable terms, your split still affects your adult children. You’ll need to continue to provide a sense of family. Here are steps that you can take.
Avoid ruining your children’s celebrations
Frequently following gray divorce, adult children wonder what they should do regarding family celebrations. They wonder if they can invite both parents to an event, and if they do, will arguing ensue? For ex-spouses who get along, that’s a non-issue, but if you still have bad feelings for your ex-spouse, getting into an argument at the event over a perceived slight can ruin it for your children and grandchildren. Even if you don’t get along, remember to make your children’s celebratory events about them and not you. Putting aside your differences can help foster happy family relationships.
Risking alienation
If you don’t put aside your differences, you risk alienation from your adult children. Remember, you are divorcing your spouse, not your adult child. No matter how old your children are, you must still nurture your relationship with them. Some parents in gray divorces focus so much on themselves that they make their adult children feel unwanted, even when their ex-spouse isn’t involved. Always remember to be open to your adult children, no matter how old they are.
Keeping your adult children happy
Most children in gray divorce cases are adults, so you don’t have to deal with issues like child custody and visitation. The issues that you may want to consider for your adult children involve the division of assets. Retirement accounts and other assets generally require a named beneficiary. You can reassure adult children of your love for them by naming them as your beneficiaries.
Although assets cannot replace the love of a parent, designating your adult children as beneficiaries after your death can smooth the blow of gray divorce. Leaving your assets to your children shows that you care about them. But most of all, maintain a sincere relationship with your adult children.
